
Every Weekend I Say Kitchen Towel: Not Susan Wine Humor
Every Weekend I Say Kitchen Towel shows the text "EVERY WEEKEND I SAY TO MYSELF, "SUSAN,YOU HAVE TO STOP DRINKING WINE" THANKFULLY I'M NOT SUSAN." alongside a splashing wine glass.
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16″ × 24″ · fits an oven handle · Soft absorbent kitchen towel fabric · hemmed · machine washable
Description
Every Weekend I Say Kitchen Towel shows the text "EVERY WEEKEND I SAY TO MYSELF, "SUSAN,YOU HAVE TO STOP DRINKING WINE" THANKFULLY I'M NOT SUSAN." alongside a splashing wine glass. The joke relies on the relief of not being the person receiving advice to stop drinking. It is a practical accessory for anyone who enjoys a glass of red with their cooking or dinner.
What is printed on it
Bold, black typography dominates the center of the white fabric, delivering a punchline about personal boundaries with alcohol. To the right of the final line, a watercolor-style wine glass tilts slightly, releasing a splash of deep purple liquid that suggests movement and abundance. The lettering uses a casual, hand-drawn font that mimics marker strokes, adding to the informal and cheeky tone of the statement. This specific combination of text and imagery belongs to the genre of sassy home decor designed for adults who appreciate self-deprecating humor. The visual arrangement balances the weight of the words with the delicate illustration, creating a cohesive graphic that celebrates the joy of wine without the guilt associated with the fictional character mentioned.
Made for these people
Those who see themselves in the punchline rather than the warning will immediately recognize this design. Every Weekend I Say Kitchen Towel acts as a silent partner for the cook who believes a good meal deserves a generous pour of red. It fits perfectly on a hook near the stove or draped over a cabinet handle where it can be seen by guests during a casual gathering. Gifting this to a friend or family member acknowledges their sense of humor and shared appreciation for a relaxed weekend atmosphere.
Quick questions
- Why does the design mention stopping drinking wine specifically?
- The printed text references stopping wine consumption to set up a comedic contrast. By advising someone named Susan to quit, the design implies that the owner avoids this advice simply because they are not that person. This creates a humorous defense mechanism for enjoying alcohol without feeling guilty about it.
- Who would understand the reference to the character Susan?
- This design suits people who know a friend or relative named Susan who might be overly critical or strict about drinking habits. It also appeals to anyone who feels they need an internal monologue to justify their own wine glasses. The humor works best for those familiar with the trope of the judgmental friend versus the carefree drinker.
- How does this towel differ from other wine-themed kitchen textiles?
- Unlike generic prints featuring grapevines or vineyard landscapes, this towel focuses entirely on a narrative joke. The inclusion of the specific name Susan and the direct address to the reader makes it a personal statement piece rather than a decorative pattern. It prioritizes wit and relatability over traditional aesthetic motifs found in home decor.
Details
- Size
- 16" x 24" — the classic kitchen towel size
- Fabric
- Soft absorbent kitchen towel fabric
- Vivid single-sided print that won't crack or peel · Printed on demand
- Edges
- Hemmed edges
- Care
- Machine washable
- In the box
- 1 towel
- SKU
- DQT-COOKING-KITCHEN-TOWELS-5938
Shipping & Returns
$4.95 flat shipping, free on orders of $35 or more. Printed in 1–3 business days, then 3–7 business days in transit — 5–10 business days in total. We ship within the United States only.
Return within 30 days of delivery. Misprinted or damaged? We replace it free. Changed your mind? Send it back at your cost and we refund within 10 days.
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